My 28th birthday is Thursday which makes me very happy. I’m a fan of birthdays and I am generally not afraid of getting older or admitting my age. I’ve earned every wrinkle, every stretch mark, every bag under my eyes. Not that I’m happy they’re taking over – but I’ve earned ‘em.
I write letters to my daughter in case I’m not always around to dispense my brand of motherly advice. So in celebration of my birthday, I decided to write my 13 year old self a letter. It ended up being reflective of things that have happened since I was a teenager. I’m almost 30 for pete’s sake! I have to start writing this stuff down!
Happy (almost) Birthday to Me!!
Dear 13 Year Old Adryon:
I thought about writing this letter to “2 year old you” when you looked like this:
but you would probably be too busy eating Fruity Pebbles to listen. But at 13, you’re finally figuring out a little bit about yourself. You’re using a false confidence to mask teenage insecurity and soon enough, it’s going to get you in trouble. Knock it off.
The first year of high school is going to change everything. The older boy you had a crush on when you were 11 is going to be in the English class across from you and when you see him for the first time in years, you are ruined. Ya know, in the 14 year old way. He will be what you think is your first love, and what was definitely your first heart break. It will be an ache you are convinced is exactly like My So-Called Life.
Upon reflection of this scenario as an adult, you will smack yourself for how embarrassing you were as a girlfriend and wish you could send that boy, now a married man, a message and apologize for being so weird. You will learn from this relationship that you should not be reading Cosmo when you’re 14.
However, it is this same year you meet your best friend, and that pretty much makes up for all of that nonsense. Keep an eye out for her – she’s the girl who makes fun of you in the hallway. One day in a bathroom, all of that will change.
During the ages of 15-17, you are a hot mess. You do not need those piercings you want, those guys in their 20’s have no business dating you, and for the love of all that is good, do notstart wearing those kerchiefs on your head. You’re going to do all those things anyway and the only good that comes from any of it are photos you can laugh uncomfortably at.
Being obstinate as you are, you will decide to move out of your parent’s house and into your best friend’s the second you graduate high school. You will swear off boys and decide you’re going to take a year off before going to college – to “live life”, i.e. work in a coffee shop. You will think you’re free and in control for the first time in your life. You are a dumbass for thinking this.
Now, 13 year old me in your ruby red vinyl Airwalks, I don’t want to ruin too much for you after this point because it is where life gets really crazy. Everything you plan will not happen and everything you never thought would happen, does. It will happen so fast that one day you’ll wake up two days from turning 28, but still convinced you’re 18 at times…but I will tell you this:
- You are going to fall madly in love.
- You are going to get pregnant (Yeah, I know! You have a kid! Gross, huh?) and get married.
- You will laugh and love a whole lot – and shockingly keep that kid happy and healthy.
- There will be times when things are not good.
- About that guy you marry…as much as you love him…love him more and hold on tighter. Life is short sometimes. Pay attention.
- The universe deems you lucky enough to fall madly in love again with someone who thinks that everything in this letter (and the details I left out) are a beautiful thing. He’s weird.
Everything else I won’t tell you because even if I did there really is no way to prepare you on how to handle it. It’s life and you better live it big, loud and at one hundred and fifty percent.
Oh, and start saving money so you actually have some when you’re older. If I could smack you for all the money you will spend in the 90’s I would, you frivilous bitch.
I love you – so start loving yourself now so it won’t be so hard when you’re my age.
Me, er, You? Um, what?
PS. Yes, you will always be tired.