I hear him whistling upstairs, warm from a shower.

I love the sound of his voice, the touch of his hand.

The dogs are cupped within each other, sisters by choice.

Our cat, a heaving pile of copper. An asshole, but loved for what he stands for.

This house is too small – too limited to the big dreams the three of us have.

When we have our own house…..

there will be a huge kitchen

and tons of storage

with a place for tools and wood and home brewing.

We always have an unfinished puzzle on the coffee table and I think it fits.

She tells me:

I want to move to Paris.

I will be the world’s greatest chef.

And I believe her.

Because in this family -

Anything is possible

Everything is possible

But you have to want it

More importantly, you have to work for it.

Because most things that “fall in your lap”, are just crumbs. Nothing substantial.

You couldn’t find a luckier woman than me.

They say it all the time.

Don’t blink. Enjoy every moment because one day you’ll wake up and your baby won’t be a baby anymore.

And here she is, my daughter, just born yesterday…about to turn 10. Almost as tall as me, thin and lanky (unlike me) with royal blue streaks in her hair. We have to shop in the Juniors Department for her because she is mostly limbs and has no desire to wear shirts with cartoons or cheesy sayings.

Alora is very much her father, and if he were alive, I don’t know how he’d be handling all of these changes in the little girl she was. I don’t know how he’d handle seeing all the similarities between the two of them now, both physically and mentally, because I sure as hell don’t keep it together a lot of the time.

There is beautiful mirroring: the soft brown of her eyes set beneath familiar brows. The shape of her feet and toes identical to ones I’ve seen before.

And there is some ugliness. Deep-seeded frustration after disappointment. Quick sarcasm to deflect questions. Unexplained sadness that comes in like waves. Deja vu.

Like most young ladies she can be two people: in one breath arguing valid points of contentment with my parenting and in her exhale curling up beside me in silence, only wanting to be held.

I love her so very much. Sometimes I’m so angry that I happened to blink.

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I love re-creating something I’ve eaten outside of my own kitchen. Maybe it’s my Mom’s Cabbage Rolls or most recently the Silk Handkerchief pasta I had in Orlando, but I enjoying challenging myself.

This is an attempt at a dish our local vegetarian Indian restaurant calls  Tikki Channa Chaat. It is described as “Delhi style friend patties served on a bed of curried chickpeas, topped with onions, cilantro and chutneys” and it is heavenly.

Every time Michael and I eat there, we order this appetizer. I love it so much. Without fail, I always leave the restaurant and by the time I’m in the car, I decide they should make it bigger, with more potato patties and consider it a main dish. I get to make these kind of decisions, you see.

Except I don’t, so I made it myself.

Is it the most authentic thing? Doubtful and laughable. But it does hit the spot on days when I can’t make the drive out to get it.

For the Chole (Curried Chickpeas):

•  2 15 oz. cans of chickpeas (garbanzo beans), drained and rinsed
• 2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
• 1 cup diced onion
• 1 jalapeno, diced
• 1 fresh bay leaf
• 1/2 cinnamon stick
• 1 cardamom pod
• 1/2 teaspoon cumin seeds
• 1 teaspoon coriander
• 1/2 teaspoon garam masala
• 1 teaspoon ginger garlic paste
• 1 cup tomato puree
• 1 medium tomato, diced
• 2 Tablespoons chopped cilantro

In a pot, cover the chickpeas with water. Bring to a boil over high heat. Once boiling, reduce the heat and simmer for 10 minutes.

While the beans are simmering, heat a large pan over medium-high heat. Add in the oil – the whole spices and toast until fragrant. Toss in the onion and jalapeno, stir to combine. Cook until beginning to soften and add the dry spices and garlic-ginger paste. Cook for 3 minutes.

Stir in the tomato puree and diced tomato. Drain the chickpeas from the water, add them to the tomato gravy and simmer for 10 minutes.

For a thicker sauce, smash a few of the chickpeas with the back of a spoon. Remove from heat and stir in cilantro.

For the Pattice (Potato Patties):

• 3 large russet potatoes, peeled and boiled
• 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon coriander
• 1/8 teaspoon cumin
• 1/4 cup chopped cilantro
• salt and pepper to taste
• 2 Tablespoons cornstarch

In a large bowl, put your boiled potatoes through a ricer for a smooth consistency. If you don’t have one, give them a thorough mashing. Stir in the remaining ingredients except the cornstarch, kneading the mixture together until combined. Taste for seasoning – when it’s to your liking, thoroughly mix in the cornstarch.

Get a plate for holding your patties. Using your hands, form the potato mixture into the size patties of your choice. I make a golf ball sized round and then smush them flat. Whatever floats your boat.

When you’re ready to pan fry the pattice, heat a skillet with your oil over medium high heat. When the oil is hot, gently add the potato patties. Cook for 2-3 minutes on each side, or until golden brown.

To Serve You’ll Also Need:

• Chopped cilantro
• Diced Onion
• Diced Tomato
• Plain Yogurt
• Chow Mein Noodles (Note: Traditionally the little crunchies are something called ‘Sev’ but I did  not have access to an Indian market, and these seemed to do the trick.)

I was in Florida last week, working my derriere off alongside a team of wonderful people. This annual trip of mine isn’t particularly fun or easy on any of us, but we hold it together just long enough to get home in one piece.

Every year I learn a little bit more about myself, how I function under stress, and changes that need to be made. I learn how far I am capable of pushing my physical and mental strength before it all just gives out. I was reminded of the moments I’ve wished for just “one day away from home,” and being faced with it, would have taken them all back for just one more second in my own home, my own bed, with my own family.

But I am home now – with a handful of stories and even more muscles aching. All that matters is that I am home and that even though we had them last week, these cheesesteaks were the first thing requested for our current meal plan.

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Cheesesteaks at Home:

I blame all gas stations that give me the temptations of lunch food in the morning while I pump gas. I’ve never really been a breakfast-in-the-morning kind of girl. You’re more likely to see me eating pasta or a salad first thing in the morning than an egg.

So I’m filling my gas tank for what feels like the 17th time this week and I see the advertisement that pretty much screams that I need a cheesesteak and I won’t be able to sleep until I eat one. Immediately, I knew I was doomed until I made, ate, bought, or in some way consumed one.

And I did – and it was divine. You should too, because it’s so easy that it is not even funny.

For the Cheesesteaks (Makes 4)

• 2 lbs of the steak you love the most, stripped of any gnarly fat
• salt and black pepper
• olive oil
• 4 Sub rolls
• Cheese Sauce, recipe follows
• Green Peppers and Baby Bella Mushrooms, recipe follows
• Quick Sauteed Onions, recipe follows
• Toppings of Choice such as: Lettuce, Tomato, Mustard, Mayonnaise, etc.

For the Green Peppers and Mushrooms

• 1 Tablespoon butter
• 1 Tablespoon olive oil
• 1 green pepper sliced into thin strips
• 6 oz  mushrooms sliced thin
• salt and pepper

In a pan over medium heat, melt the butter and drizzle in the oil. Add your peppers and mushrooms. Stir to coat and cook until the vegetables are soft and tender. Season with salt and pepper.

For the Sauteed Onions:

• 1 Tablespoon butter
• 1 teaspoon bacon fat
• 2 cups thinly sliced onion
• salt and pepper

Wipe your pan clean (no one wants more dishes to do!) and melt the butter and bacon fat together over medium heat. Once hot, add the onions, stirring to coat evenly with the fat. Continue to cook, stirring frequently until the onions are golden brown and soft, about 10 minutes. Season with salt and pepper

If you have more time, cook them low and slow for about half an hour – but I wasn’t patient that day.

For the Cheese Sauce:

• 1 Tablespoon butter
• 1 Tablespoon flour
• 2 cups milk
• 1 1/4 cups of shredded cheeses of choice (I used 1 cup Cheddar to 1/4 cup Gruyere but change it up to what you like!)
• salt and black pepper

In a small saucepan, warm the milk gently. Adding warm milk rather than cold milk to your roux will keep your sauce smooth and not gritty. This method for making a cheese sauce will also make a bomb mac and cheese.

In another pot over medium heat, melt the butter and stir in the flour. Cook for 1-2 minutes to get rid of the raw flour taste. Slowly add the warm milk, whisking continuously until it has all been added. Once the sauce has thickened, remove the pan from the heat whisk in the cheese. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

I won’t mention any names, but some people who made this sauce have been known to treat it like fondue while they continue to cook. Whatever.

Happy Cooking!

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I am a woman made of superstition. If I were a sports fan, I’d be the person who doesn’t wash their team jersey for a season, or I might grow an obnoxious mustache. Anything to keep everything the same and the possibility open.

This time an opportunity presented itself and I didn’t dye my hair for three months, just in case. I waited. I stayed quiet and made myself available to the possibility of the answer. The noise of the lack of an answer has become overwhelming.

So in the most annoyingly vague way, that is the majority of the reason for my self-imposed hiatus. I’ve had photos, posts and recipes for a long time ready to share, but I felt it would break my peace or my chance at progression. I’m not very good at being quiet, so I’m done with all the nonsense.

Here’s a sneak peak at all the deliciousness I’ve been cooking up (with considerable help from Alora)!

Big Hugs!

Football is not something I count among my favorite things. Sports in general just don’t appeal to me as a spectator type event. However, judging by the obnoxious amount of purple around my parts, I can either gather that our Baltimore Ravens have progressed further in the….um…happy fun play time league OR Prince is coming to town and we’re all just really excited about it.

“Waymen hon, you see what this girl is writing about ‘dem birds? What a harble examble of a Balmer, Merlin girl! I don’t unnersteaned how she could be so ignit.” Full disclosure: as I was born in Arizona and spent my first few years in Germany, I don’t have that beautiful accent we’re so famous for….unless I am extremely upset. In that case it’s hard to tell if I’m from Maryland, Minnesota, or Georgia. My voice travels this fine country during fits of anger.

I do love a good party though, and if you’re watching the big game or just having some friends over to watch a marathon of Jem DVD’s it’s hard to go wrong with mini-meatballs and dipping sauce. Some will love the meat factor and others will love their tiny size and portability on a toothpick.

Everyone wins! (GO RAVENS!)

 Ingredients:

• 1 slice of bread
• 1/4 cup heavy cream
• 1/2 lb. ground beef
• 1/2 lb. ground pork
• 1/2 lb. ground veal
• 2 slices of panchetta, minced
• 1/4 cup grated Pecorino Romano cheese
• 1 heaping Tablespoon chopped flat leaf parsley
• 1 teaspoon dried Italian seasoning
• salt and fresh black pepper to taste

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

In a small bowl, soak the bread and cream together.This replaces the usual egg and bread crumb you might see in other recipes. Use your hands and squish it together. Set aside until ready to use.

Combine the rest of the ingredients in a large bowl. Mix in the squishy bread/cream mixture.

Prep a cookie sheet with foil and non-stick spray or with your favorite no-stick method of baking. Roll into 1 inch balls and place on cookie sheet. Cook for 15 minutes, rotate and cook for another 15 minutes.

Remove the meatballs from the oven and serve immediately.

Serve with your favorite sauce and root for the best team!

Well now look at you, hot pants! 2012 has been treating you just nicely. It must be all those vitamins you’re taking.

Besides the usual New Year banter, this was the first year I saw a lot of ‘I want to cook more’ or ‘I want to make better meals for my family’ type resolutions floating around my social media.

Like any resolution, after a few weeks it can seem really daunting to keep up a new lifestyle or part of your day. Since I have the strong belief that anyone can cook, I thought I’d throw out a few tips and pointers to make meals a little less scary after the shiny new paint of it all has worn off.

Start Simple and with the Basics

I always say that once you know a handful of techniques, you can cook pretty much anything. If you can make one soup, you can make any soup, barring a few complicated ones.

Learn a good dough recipe for pizzas, master a pasta sauce, or make a pot of your own chicken stock and see what happens from there!

Befriend a Slow Cooker

I love cooking when I’m home. It is relaxing for me after a long day at work. Food and cooking is how I think; it’s a part of my heart and obviously my skin. However, there is something really satisfying every once in awhile to come home to a crock pot full of something delicious. You walk in the door to a house full of the most intoxicating food-smells and all is right in the universe.

Next time you’re in a rut, crock pot.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind – So Keep it In Sight

A great way to have more vegetables and fruits involved in meals (and snack time) is to keep them visible. I keep vegetables in pretty bowls on my kitchen counter. In the fridge, things like carrots and celery are visible rather than buried deep in drawers. If it’s in your face it will be much more difficult to ignore.

Meal Plans

We’ve been doing meal plans for a long time now – and even as the time has gone by, we’ve been able to stream line the process it even further. I’m not at the level of color-coding the shopping list by department but we have a system that works pretty well for us. We don’t assign a meal for a specific day – but maybe that would work for your family – we’re just too picky and commitment phobic when it comes to food.

Our newest addition to meal planning is to double check what dry goods we have in the cabinets and base as many meals as possible around them. I’m the Queen of buying dry beans out of habit and coming home to realize we already have 6 other bags waiting for me in the pantry.

Make Your Kitchen Fun

The best meals I’ve ever made have happened to music. I believe in the concept of food being made with joy and love – and what inspires emotions more than music? Keep a radio or a dock for your dearest digital tune player in the kitchen and you’d be surprised how those swinging hips or karaoke session can turn into the most amazing food.

Mundane becomes fundane…nevermind, that didn’t work…but the process will be more enjoyable.

Cook While You Couch Potato

One of our favorite meals is steamed or baked pork dumplings, which the prep work for can be a little tedious, especially when you’re going at it alone. Once in a while though, all three of us set up a table in the living room, put on some Netflix and suddenly all the wrappers are stuffed and ready to cook in no time.

 A lot of prep work for tonight or tomorrow’s dinner can be done just vegging out watching that documentary you’ve been meaning to finish. When it comes to make that next meal, think of all the time you’ve shaved off all that dicing and slicing.

Whatever keeps you cooking!

 

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Alora keeps saying this new year is when the world will end.

Somehow in my bones, I feel it is quite the opposite. For me, it’s a year that from this distance, appears circular and complete. By the end of 2012, I’ll have a ten year old, I will be married, and hopefully all this crazy hopeful energy I’ve been pushing into the universe will come to fruition.

(No, I don’t want to have another baby; because that is gross.)

I officiated a wedding a few years back and part of the ceremony read, “This is the point in the ceremony when we usually talk about the wedding bands being a perfect circle, having no beginning and no end. But we all now that these rings do have a beginning. Rock is dug up from the Earth. Metal is liquefied in a furnace at a thousand degrees. Hot metal is poured into a mold, cooled, and then painstakingly polished. Something beautiful is made from raw elements. Love is like that. It’s hot, dirty work. It comes from humble beginnings, made by imperfect beings. It is the process of making something beautiful where there was once nothing at all.”

I’ve always liked that statement because love is like that. LIFE is like that. Every day we should be making something wonderful, even when it’s rough around the edges.

Change the things you are unhappy with. No one else is going to do it for you.

Appreciate what you do have. It could change at any second.

Work hard for anything you want and don’t stop until it is yours.

Eat good food and surround yourself with the best people.

Those are my wishes for each and every one of you, and the people you love.

The Happiest of New Years! Cheers!

I’ve been a mother for nearly 10 years – almost a decade of making magic happen before my daughter’s very eyes. I remember when she was three, my father standing in the snow outside of her bedroom window shaking bells to let her know Santa was coming.

For some reason, my daughter’s belief in Santa Claus was very important to me. In this crazy world there was something about giving Alora magic in her life that soothed my soul.

This year Alora has officially become aware that Santa is not exactly who she always thought he was. Well, he certainly saw her when she was sleeping (and checked on her 27 times a night) and knew when she was awake (because she demanded a fried egg with her bagel), white beard or not.

While I was momentarily crushed, she wrapped her arms around me and reminded me that “the magic still happened, no matter who created it.”

Yeah, that’s right – I’m a Christmas bad-ass and I don’t care who knows it. So today I bequeath unto you my tips for being super awesome during the holiday season. One is a generic parenting tip while the others are my ideas for keeping Santa’s awesomeness around as long as possible. I promise you all of these have been done by me at some point. Whatever.

1. Before wrapping children’s gifts, remove the items from as much packaging and twisty ties as possible while still retaining the integrity. Put batteries in it if necessary, then wrap. You know that screaming and frustrated child who wants to play NOW? Boom.
2. If you have a Nintendo Wii, make a ‘mii’ that is as close to Santa as possible. Make sure he plays a few games and that you leave the Wii on to be discovered in the morning. Even Santa needs some down time during that long trip.
3. Get in cahoots with someone and change your names to ‘Santa’ in your cell phone. Change the photo too if one is associated with that number. Oh, it’s after dinner and Santa sent you a text asking if your child has fed his hamster and finished their homework? This works particularly well with the reading age crowd. Elf on a Shelf? Pfffft. You’re welcome.
4. Should your older child start to doubt Santa, laugh heartily and say “You think I’M getting out of bed in the middle of the night to give you presents? You’re funny.” This equals at least one more year of believing.
5. If your child leaves carrots for the reindeer, gnaw that shit to death and scatter stubs around the room. Shove hay in the cracks of doors and complain about the mess they left in the morning.
6. Have pets? Buy a white glove and leave it in their sleeping area. Santa took it off to give them a little pat and left it behind. Same goes with some cheap drugstore glasses left on a kitchen table. Evidence is King.

Most importantly – if your child no longer lives to make Ol’ Saint Nick happy, make sure they know the number one rule of being trusted with that information is that no matter how old or how young, you can’t tell anyone else or confirm their suspicions.

At the end of the day, red suit and beard or not, Santa IS real. Just like Alora said, the magic happens regardless.

Do you have any tips?

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